I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
