Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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