apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was born a porn star she said
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
