I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
