I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
