wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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