My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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