We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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