hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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