New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
