walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
