he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
