Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just google imaged poop.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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