yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
