Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
