I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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