He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
