Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
