He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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