I like my sex mixed with concussions.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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