my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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