so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
