I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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