JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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