just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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