Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
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i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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