After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
