i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
