im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
