My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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