Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
