brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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