yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
