Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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