I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
