hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
try to milk me bitch
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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