it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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