so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize