He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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