I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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