fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
