Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
