so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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