Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
