Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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