Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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