No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
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got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.