I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
