so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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