I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.