I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops