Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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