Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
