I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
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my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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