pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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