I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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