Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
