AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
