I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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