i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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