i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
