Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
