nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
