got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize