His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
God, I missed his penis.
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