Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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