What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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