found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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