just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
